Starting to feel a bit down with everything. I dunno, its difficult to talk about. I feel completely shut out from everything at the moment. Just a bit like the tag along in every situation, like I don't really belong anywhere.
I feel like everyone is getting on with their lives and I'm just hanging behind, waiting to be picked up.
Its so difficult to be pro active when I feel so low. My mood changes quite often. I get sad, then happy, then sad and awful lot. I have loads to look forward too, but its difficult when right now I feel like I'm running in place, getting no-where.
I feel like I put an awful lot of effort into being there for some people and its just a one sided thing. I get nothing in return. Equally there are a lot of my friends who are superb and are always there, just with others I feel a little disheartened with, like I'm making an effort and getting nothing in return.
Sorry to write such a depressing blog! I'm just finding it all a bit difficult.
I'm getting swamped with Vivi aswell. She is very very advanced for her age. She speaks fluently most of the time and is super bossy. It gets a bit much when it feels like she is dictating to me what I can and cannot do.
I would love to have a tiny part of my life back. I get two afternoons a week where Vivi is in nursery and John will have her if I get invited out for an evening. I just feel like so many mothers have the ability to palm their children off onto other people so much. I dunno, I guess my opinion is that you made your bed you lie in it. Its shitty when parents palm their kids off onto other people so they can go out and get pissed regularly.
Well, yeh.Semi Angry blog over!!
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